i open up to page eight-hundred and nine 

"blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"

wow. thank you, Jesus. 

upon taking these words in,

i am reminded that my savior knows my pain and suffering and is not scared of it 

i am reminded that it's okay to grieve things, friends, opportunities that i've lost

and i'm filled with good grief

i know that joy comes in the mourning 

and i can comprehend that Jesus wept, too. 

for the first time since in a long time, i have actually processed the cost of what living missionally looks like every single day, all the time. 

ministry in romania has not been easy. it is emotionally tolling, and spiritually challenging. it is full of ups and downs, high highs and low lows. and i have never had to rely on the Father this much before. i am drawn closer to Him each and every day, with each and every tear. i am sustained by Him, held in His arms, and unconditionally loved by Him, and he is helping me grieve, and it's hard and good.

i am very thankful for all of your prayers, and i am asking for more. i can feel the shift in the air when y'all whisper words to God for me. thank you. 

thank you for reading this blog. it is not written without hope.

love,

kori