hi everyone! i’m going to be starting a “friendship series” where i ask my fiends to write whatever is on their hearts – what the Lord is showing them, how they’re growing or have grown, how we became friends, or whatever they decide to write about. first up is my friend and logistics partner philip wilson! you can check out his blog (philipwilson.theworldrace.org) to see my guest appearance which explains how we became friends. without further ado, here’s phil!
(okay first of all this is kori, second of all the picture above is obviously candid and i’m not quite sure why philip chose it, but i think it explains our friendship in a nut shell: phil laughing and me looking annoyed when in reality i’m also trying not to laugh. carry on.)
Ok so Kori asked me to write a blog post in 30 minutes. When I asked her what about, she said to write about whatever God has spoken to me on the Race. Immediately, I remembered the time that God spoke so loudly to me that it changed the course of my time on the World Race.
It was a logistics day in Guatemala last December. Kori and I are the squad logistics coordinators, and we were in the process of booking a hostel for our squad to stay at during our mid-point debrief. Afterwards, we got to talking and Kori referenced an email in which somebody said that I had a pastor’s heart. She asked me, “Would you ever become a pastor?” At once, I went into defense mode. “No, no, no, no. Not at all. Not me. I can’t.”
Acting very out of character, Kori did what Kori does best. She brought much needed conviction and told me “You are freaking out over nothing. I think that you need to talk to God about it.” She was right.
So there I sat, heart racing, mind flustered, confused and coming before my Dad. I opened up my Bible to Ephesians, put on a soft worship playlist, and just began to pray. “God what am I so worried about? Why did I flip out like that? What do you say?” Then, I read. Ephesians 1 talks about how we were dead and how Christ in His love breathed His life into us again. How He was crucified and crushed for me. I started to well up. Then I started to weep. Why am I so afraid to live with the life I was given? He gave up His so I can have mine. Why am I so selfish? Ephesians 4 is Paul calling believers to live worthy of the calling on their lives. That he, a prisoner, is so, so free because he has a life of purpose.
The song “Weep With Me” by Rend Collective came on as I was trying to read through tears that rarely exist in my eyes. “I am here,” Jesus said. “I am weeping with you. I don’t necessarily want you to be a pastor, but I want you to be willing. I want you to just rest in My love for you. I’m in the Garden before my death weeping for you. With you. I know it’s hard to die to yourself in a world that’s hates you, but I’m doing it too. Because it’s worth it. Because you are worth it.”
That was quite the reminder to rest in His presence. To remember His love and to choose His Truth (Joshua 1:9). So wherever life takes me, whether pastoring, or living in a remote jungle village, or working in a boring office, I will try to remember to simply rest in His love.
Thanks for the push, Kori. Thanks for being a friend. Thank you that you like when I get bullied by God’s love. I enjoy it too.
This is a photo Kori sent me after she told me to talk to God. I’m not scared anymore 🙂
